Bullying: My experience

When I was in elementary school, I experienced bullying. I remember telling an adult about it and it didn’t really stop him from bullying me. I didn’t understand why I was being bullied by him and until this day, I still have no clue. Even though I was getting physically bullied by a boy in my class, being bullied verbally got to me. In middle school and high school, I was bullied verbally. One of the things I won’t forget is the prettiest to ugliest list. According to them, if your name was at the bottom of the list, you were the ugliest. My name was in the ugly part of the list and in high school, it’s because I looked depressed. By the time I was in high school, I told myself to be more focused on grades and how I would get a high gpa. I did great my 9th grade year, but I also dealt with bullying. I remember crying one day in the rain because a boy kept talking about me in the class. I didn’t know him, and he talked about me like he knew me. I told one of my parents about it and their advice didn’t help me at the time. When I transferred schools, I didn’t experience bullying as much as I did in my old school. I was called ugly and people picked on me, but I later forgave them after some knew what they did.

Being bullied was an unpleasant experience for me. At the time I was bullied, I tried my best to ignore them, but that didn’t do much. I would sit in the chair pretending that I don’t hear them when I was waiting for it to stop. Looking at my bullying experience, I hated that I changed myself just to fit in with those type of kids. Not only did I get myself in a lot of mess, my grades were dropping in the process. On the day of graduation, I remember not being happy like the other people in my class. I felt like I didn’t accomplish anything and how I didn’t get honors. Even though I was putting a smile on my face for my family, I hid that I didn’t get honors. Not getting honors and not going to a university were things that took me into depression. On top of that, I had thought about the past and I didn’t realize that time was passing me by.

Dealing with that experience has made it difficult for me to move on from the past. Sometimes I think about those that talked about me and how I didn’t defend myself back then. I feel like its easy for someone to say “you need to let it go,” when its not an easy thing to do. Everyone heals differently and for me, it’s just taking me a long time to do that. Honestly, I don’t know how I made it through that experience because in that moment, I didn’t think I’d get out of it. It felt like I was going to stay in that situation forever and that I was worthless. Every time I turned around, I couldn’t really catch a break from what was going on. I remember one moment where I was going insane because I didn’t know how to handle my problems.

As I got older, I’ve met people that gave me hope through my situation. Although I didn’t have a pleasant experience with bullying, I try to take steps each day to heal. I will continue taking steps and trying to be a better person I was meant to be. If I could say anything to someone being bullied, I would tell them to not give up and don’t change who you are for them. Changing yourself for them is nothing but a waste of time and can cost you when you’re older. Continue to get good grades and try to be the best person you can be. You push forward no matter what happens to you because life is worth living! Find your purpose and don’t give up! Don’t let any bad apples destroy your life experiences!

 

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In the darkness

I took a walk last night

The weather was cold

But I wanted to waste time

On my way to the store,

I looked over and saw a guy

He asked me the same question twice

Although I didn’t respond

I can admit that I was frightened

I walked to the store as fast as I could

Because I knew the light was brightened

When I came back from the store

I saw that he was gone

I can’t seem to forget

The hoodie he had on

Time for change

If I want to change

I have to do it for myself

I can’t think about the past

Or compare my life to anyone else

I felt guilty for being different

For years, I’ve decided to keep myself hidden

I’m tired of looking at the bad things in life

I am ready for change

And to have a positive look on life

I understand my emotions is holding me back

It’s time for me to be stronger

To improve on the things I lack

Never let go

If I ever fall in love one day

I never want to let him go

I want to get to know him

And I want to take things slow

Being in a relationship isn’t about looks

It’s about growth

I want to be their shoulder to cry on

When they’re feeling down

I want to be their greatest cheerleader

All year around

Cruel people

I hate how cruel some people can be

They try to bring you down

And keep you from smiling

It makes me wonder

What happened to the love in this society

Life

Sometimes I ask myself

Why am I fighting this battle

I feel like I don’t have the strength

And my life is shattered

As time goes by, I try to hold on

It takes a lot out of me

To be strong

Kids

I see kids wanting someone to talk to

But no one is there

They think that no one cares

I hate seeing kids cry

Because I know how it feels like

The tears falling down on their face

Makes me want to give them a hug

If I had the chance I would tell them not to give up

Racism

When I talk to someone

I don’t judge them by their race

I look at someone’s personality

Not the color of their face

It’s sad how ignorant some people can be

They look at stereotypes

For the people they are judging

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